I began this artwork with an intention in mind. Since giving birth I’ve experienced a whole of grief and reliving skeletons from the past as I’ve settled into parenthood. However, with this has brought with it some intensely amazing growth and personal insight, as I’ve learnt that sitting with the grief (instead of running from it like I always had) allows beautiful gifts to emerge from within it.
So I wanted to create an artwork about just this … It’s called ‘A Gift Within Grief’. Here’s how it began …
I added some vintage lace, which I’d carefully cut into interesting designs to compliment the flow in this piece and add texture.
As you can see, not everything I put on, stays on.
I replaced a lot of the lace with hand-drawn elements, and cut pieces down to ‘fit’ better as the artwork unfolded. I’ll often layer so intensely over something that it becomes hidden underneath, and lift other areas so new perspectives emerge.
I thought it was finished here … but then decided it needed a few more final touches … not just to make it ‘ping’, but to match the way the artwork intention ‘felt’ to me inside. That’s often my challenge – finding a way to make an artwork ‘feel’ the way I want it to. Otherwise to me, it’s empty, and can often be why I rework an artwork again and again until it feels right.
So, here it is, the finished piece. There’s a slight sense of discomfort for me as I reflect on this piece, because the idea of consciously experiencing grief as a positive thing is such a new concept to me. I’m sure this is only the beginning and there will be many more layers of learning unfold for me around this topic as I continue through life.
But for now, this moment, this is what I know. And I’m up for the challenge.
Love C xx
4 comments:
i was drawn to this before i even saw the title or read about it (admittedly, i am drawn to just about everything you do!). the 'gift within grief'...interesting idea. the gifts that come with the loss and pain of severe chronic illness are certainly something i have thought about a lot over the years. i'd always imagined them as being more parallel though, so now you have me pondering what could actually be found 'within' or where they are really born from.
thanks for sharing chrissy. XXOO
My pleasure kp! You always leave such thoughtful and honest comments. I've tried clicking on your name because I'd love to check out your blog if you have one too, but it's restricted.
IN terms of the gift within grief, I've found really strongly over the last couple of months that every time a painful feeling comes up, it is showing itself to be healed. The more I resist or run from it, the more painful it is and the longer healing takes to emerge. And even that's okay, there's a lesson in everything.
It's taken me 32 years to come to this and I feel it's only just the beginning. Interesting to see how things unfold from here :)
xx
aha - now i know exactly what you mean about the gift within the grief!
(entirely possible my head was not computing properly yesterday...in fact i know it was not). the bit about resisting and running, oh that speaks to me a lot too. i think that it delays healing because you disallow the flow of life when you hold onto anything with tension.
very very curious about the 'restricted' access to my blog (?) - and good to know. just had a look and it says it is set to anybody being able to see so i'm a bit lost. will have another look-see some other time.
XXOO
(i believe i have sorted the blog thing - seemed i had the profile set to not able to see as it wasn't exactly exciting...guess that meant that no-one could click on it to find anything though. best theory i have anyway! hopefully it is fixed now)
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